I'm a Catholic. And like all Catholics I know the Father's Prayer. We ask God to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.
I'm okay with that. But only if those that trespass against me apologize first. If the person doesn't apologize, then I'm not forgetting or forgiving anything. Whoever it is that has done the trespassing is very likely going to do it again. They're not SORRY. That is why they've not apologized.
In my mind, the whole point in praying to God is to ask for for his help, his understanding, his forgiveness and to thank him for everything that he has done for all of us. He forgives me because I've come to him and apologized. That simple concept has to apply to how we forgive in this world.
So many people these days just will not apologize. Why? Because they are full of themselves and think that they are not doing anything wrong. You can have steam coming out of your ears but in their minds they think they've done nothing wrong. This is why they don't apologize.
I've worked at jobs where the manager talked to people like they were DIRT! In one case, I stood up and said something to the manager about it. I told that manager that her behavior was neither acceptable or professional. Her response made my jaw drop. She told me that as manager she could do whatever she wanted and talk to her employees in whatever way she wanted to. When someone thinks like this, you know that this person will NEVER apologize. These people feel like they are on another level than everyone else. Once you suffer from a "godhood" mental disorder, you feel like you can do whatever you want and everybody has to just take it. I never forgot that incident.
Keep in mind = sometimes what you say can have a positive effect down the road. The person may not respond well when you first tell him or her something but over time your message may sink in. Saying something that sounds like a criticism is often received initially poorly. Later, the person may reflect on what you said and end up agreeing with you. You may have planted the seed that will grow into a pretty flower next year.
In other cases, I have seen family members treat other family members in a terrible way. I've seen parents violently and abusively talking to their kids like they were GARBAGE. I've seen siblings talk to each other like they hated each other. Just like the manager, these people think that it is OKAY to talk to another family member like this. Why? Because they have some demented idea in their head that they don't have to treat a family member well. They only have to be polite to strangers. They can treat family members horribly because a family member can't do anything about it. You can forget about forgiveness.
In a world where violence and hatred seems to be on the rise, you can't help thinking that if people would apologize more, the world would be a better place to live for all of us. Why is it so hard for people to apologize? Why can't people realize that they've done something wrong? Why can't people treat people better?
It's like that old saying =
“In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. . . .”
Stop treating people like dirt or garbage. Nobody likes being treated like that.
Take care,
LK
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